the moment i remember school

okay, so I hate this thing so-called hormonal… but like or not I have to deal with it every once in a month. so during my so hormonal moment now, I realized something: I miss school…

high school sucks! that I know, that everybody knows… but one thing for sure about high school is when you learned to face the reality out there. out from the safest place like school and home. some are famous, some are what they called geeks, and some are just the loners. I guess that’s always how high school goes. everywhere… no matter how we hate it, no matter how we felt that we wanna skip the high school and goes on to college in an instant…. in the end, we’ll miss high school…

me, myself, I miss the times when I learned to survive in high school. I wasn’t a famous person back then, I wasn’t the geek also, but I wasn’t a loner too… I was just and ignorant lil’ girl trying to avoid the world around me. why? I don’t know the reason until now. maybe I just felt that I wasn’t good enough to enter any of those categories. or maybe, I just don’t care about what people thought, or said, or did… but you know what, by the time I graduated I know I’ll miss high school. I’ll miss the laugh, I’ll miss the fight, I’ll miss my friends. maybe for some of you, graduating from school is just another formal thing to get through. some of you might think that graduating from school is just the way for you to get your goal. or maybe some of you might think that graduating from school is so that you could get a paper saying that you’re graduated. some of you also might think that graduating is like getting out of jail of life to face the jail even bigger out there.

for me, graduating from school is like putting another material to the house that I’m building. every time I graduated from school I finished something in the house that I’m building. either it’s the foundation, the walls, the doors, the windows, or maybe even the yard. every time I graduated from formal school I added something to the house. now, I’m facing the school of life… I have to finish every exam in order to take me to a higher level. I have to finish the mistakes exams, the broken hearted exams, the failing exams, the loving exams, and other examsΒ I can’t write down here… the difference is that I have to face one subject over and over again until The Teacher said I’m good with it. until I could face all with grateful heart no matter what the conditions are…

so, yes I miss the formal school. but I guess I’m still in school anyway. and I have a great Teacher to guide me, to lead me… oh and more than that, my Teacher always helps me through every exam that I should take. He’s always on my side. sometimes He took my place when I’m not able to do the exams, so that one day when I have to face the same exam again, I’ll know what to do…

so thanks Rabbi for guiding me and lead my way and always on my side… πŸ™‚



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